And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
