she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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