Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
