Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
