i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
