Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
