So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
