Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
