just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
is wine microwaveable?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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