Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
