would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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