Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
