return my video game
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
