it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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