I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
