My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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