Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
