I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize