You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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