I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
