i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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