We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
