I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize