Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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