exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
