it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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