You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
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Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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