we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize