'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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