The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
