he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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