How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
