you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
