I'm so fucking centered right now
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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