Semen is not good for contacts.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He did a backflip because drugs
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