Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dick very happy bro
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
