What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize