You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
