Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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