Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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