His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
