Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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