Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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