The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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