do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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