He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
