we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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