I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
so much tequila, so little girl.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
