he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
