every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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