I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
