That's intense
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
