Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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