I faked an abortion last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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