You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
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I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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