do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
