I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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