White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
