if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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