I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
