Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
