Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
