Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize