A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
