??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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