Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
