I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
