Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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