I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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