I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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