hotel room ftw
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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